(Important note: I am now seeking writing submissions from men for this book as well as women. I have finished writing Part 1. Part 2 will then feature writings from many different women. And Part 3 will feature writings from men. As in the writings by women, the men should keep men in mind that other men are the intended audience, writing to them with a story/message/lesson as to how they can deepen their relationships with women, and/or with the Goddess energy within.)
Update: I am still accepting submissions until at least March 1st, 2011, and possibly beyond that. Please join my group on Facebook (click the subject line above) to receive further updates and developments regarding the book.
Greetings and namaste...
My first book, "Kundalini and the Art of Being" chronicled the story of my unanticipated and very challenging kundalini awakening at the age of 22, as well as my semi-homeless travels at the time around the western United States.
My next book, "The Goddess Quest: A Guide for Men Seeking the Divine, Ecstatic Feminine" will delve deeply into the realm of the Goddess, and of the essence of women in general. However, the book is actually written primarily for men (though I'm sure women will end up finding it very informative as well). The purpose of this book is to help improve and greatly deepen relations between men and women. The underlying theme of the book is that the responsibility lies to a great deal on men to decide it's a priority for them to engage in a more loving relationship with women. The reason for this is that women have already been there from the beginning, ready and yearning for a relationship with men that goes into the realms of true love and intimacy, exploring the full potential of a cooperative, intertwined human relationship. It takes two to tango, and until men decide that's something they are genuinely interested in, then it won't happen. So I hope for this to be a helpful guide for men to figure out how to create the space and the trust for such relating with women.
I am seeking writing submissions from both women and men for the book, because though I've written 7 (fairly short) chapters myself for Part 1 of the book, Part 2 will feature writings from different women, and Part 3 will feature writings from men. See the bottom of this page for more info on that. But I don't expect it to be a collection of pieces that all mirror the same thoughts and ideas. I hope, and I'm sure it will be the case, that there will be a range of different, sometimes opposing views on relations between the sexes, what women's roles are, what men's roles are, what the true balance is, what women really want and what makes a woman happy, how to truly embody the Goddess, or in the case of the men writing, how to deeply connect with the Goddess, within or with women, etc. I hope for it to be a really fun, revealing, engaging, juicy, revolutionary, as well as challenging book that says something new and different, that wakes men up to the real potential of women as well as their own true potential, and shows men how to help create an amazing relationship with their woman that leaves both genuinely fulfilled, happy and deep in love.
So without further ado, here's a peek at some of what I've written so far, the first two chapters of the book...(Despite how it starts, this book isn't at all about male-bashing. But I think it's important to start off with some responsibility-taking given how men have often mistreated women throughout the centuries. I envision the book being a mix of both pushing the boundaries and the comfort zone, as well as a lot of fun. Ultimately, I hope for it to be inspiring for men, not depressing and guilt-ridden)...
Chapter 1. Make Love not War
At first glance this might seem a silly expression, as nonsensical as “Make Forks, Not Umbrellas“. What does one necessarily have to do with the other? And yet on a deeper level (beyond it being an excuse simply to have lots of sex) it actually captures perfectly the solution to many of the world’s chronic problems.
Men have been warring with one another for thousands of years. To some extent, women have joined in the fight and fought along with them, or at the least supported their efforts. But the wars are almost always of men’s making. Because the choice to go to war as a solution is part of the imbalanced, dominant male construct that has reigned for thousands of years and continue to permeate our modern societies. There are many different, seemingly practical reasons for waging war: territorial disputes, lack of food, water or other resources, lingering feuds, money, expanding power, disarming perceived threats, political rivalries and the list goes on.
But at the core of the male thirst for war, whether between nations, businesses, individuals or in a myriad of other forms, is a lack of connection with feminine love. People—men or women—don’t inflict harm needlessly on others when they’re connected to their own hearts, souls and feeling centers, because they feel the pain that this causes. And they don’t need to continually stir up conflict, aggression and dissonance in order to feel empowered, or else endlessly seek greater influence, money, fame and extravagance in order to find some sense of fulfillment, when they are fulfilled within themselves by a true connection to the divine web of life.
The answer to this enduring discord that has embedded itself in the hearts of many men and plagued humanity for eons lies in the love, wisdom and power of women. Because coinciding with this tendency towards aggression and dominance of the stronger over the weaker within our societies, has also been a denial and subjugation of the feminine principle. It is not the feminine nature to war, to battle, to fight, to seek to destroy that which is perceived as the enemy, to resolve differences through confrontation, to seek lives of excess while the poor and the planet as a whole suffer under a way of living that’s severely out of balance with the natural order.
There is more than enough of everything humans need on our abundant Earth to go around, especially given remarkable advancements in modern technology that have revealed vast alternative sources of energy. For example, water-powered vehicles were on the verge of production twenty years ago, which could have completely transformed the foundations of our societies, including geopolitical changes that might have altered the course of recent wars. But this technology and many others have been repressed by the oil companies. As such, unrelenting greed on the part of some, fueled by a lack of internal fulfillment somewhere deep in their souls, keeps Earth’s resources skewed in favor of a few insatiable elite, while billions around the world struggle to eke out a meager existence. Another example: the recent economic crisis precipitated by a relatively small number of individuals, mostly men, in the banking and mortgage industries in the United States, that ultimately threatened the entire world economy and still leaves many millions unemployed and destitute, years later.
Of course, women are subject to all the frailties and imperfections mentioned here, and a long list could be made of women throughout history who have abused power and manipulated others. The point isn’t that men are all to blame and women are exempt from any responsibility for humanity’s and the planet’s problems. But it is the overarching masculine paradigm that has held sway throughout recorded human history—ignorant and blind for the most part to the complexity, sensitivity and deep-rooted power of the divine feminine nature—that has brought our world to where it stands today, at the brink of collapse on multiple levels. And it is when men begin awakening to the feminine principle both within and without, and sincerely listening to, honoring and aligning with their women and with the wise, ecstatic, loving goddess that resides within each woman, that the world will finally change in some fundamental way and not until then.
Chapter 2. The Game of Love
What men need to understand first and foremost is that women are for the most part ready and in fact intensely longing for a deeply loving, dynamic relationship with men. And they’ve been yearning for this for a very long time. It takes two to tango as they say. But while women have been ready to dance, throwing out hints and sending alluring looks left and right, men have been lost in a game of poker, oblivious to the deeper nature of women, more transfixed by the thrilling prospects of winning or losing their life savings than exploring the true potential that lies within the dreams, feelings and longings of women.
Because in the typical unbalanced male point of view, life and love are games to be won or lost. Women are to be conquered, along with everything else they either desire or feel threatened by. Think of Tiger Woods and his mistresses, which apparently numbered more than a hundred. Being the greatest golfer in the world wasn’t enough. Being rich and famous wasn’t enough. Having a beautiful wife and a child wasn’t enough. Even having an affair didn’t satisfy him. So he had another, and another, and another, to absurdly self-indulgent extremes.
This exemplifies the big distraction that keeps many men from going deeper into themselves. There’s always something more waiting somewhere just beyond reach. If they make a million dollars, then they want a million more. If they win the horse race, then they spend all the winnings hoping to win even bigger. If they win the game, the business deal, the war, the woman, then it’s on to the next battle to be fought, to prove they‘re even more of a force to be reckoned with. And if they lose then they are no longer men, until they can regain their pride and their manhood by somehow getting back on top.
Men have been ever searching for something that remains just beyond their grasp. It’s the buried treasure, the Holy Grail, the Fountain of Youth, El Dorado, Shangri-La. That something that will finally meet all of their expectations and desires and make them finally and truly happy and content and at peace in the world. But El Dorado or some version of it never existed, or was never found or else was nothing like the vision conceived of it once they got there. What men have failed to realize in the endless quest for something precious yet elusive out there in the world, is that the Holy Grail and the Fountain of Youth were both simply metaphors for something far more valuable than any material thing, which lies within.
At the center of this constant hunger for some hidden treasure buried at the bottom of the ocean or deep in a cave guarded by menacing dragons, is a disconnection with some long lost part of themselves. That something is feeling. That something is love. Women know this because they are the embodiment of love, feeling and emotion. They’ve felt the disconnect all along, and they know that the solution needed is quite plainly and simply a deeper connection between men and women on a heart and soul level. And they know that it requires men contacting some spark of the feminine within, in order to be able to make that heartfelt connection with women.
But the masculine psyche generally doesn’t feel the disconnect because it is mostly disconnected from feeling itself. And yet, something is clearly missing; there’s a restlessness that keeps men wanting something more, something else, something greater. And so they continue on their quest for that tantalizing vision of something out there in the world around them, searching everywhere but where it actually lies, hidden in the deepest recesses of their own consciousness. And the women, ready to dance, to engage, to make some real love, to explore the depths of human passion and potential, sit idly by, twiddling their thumbs, busying themselves with assorted tasks that help pass the time, feeling the void gnawing within them as they wait for the endless game to end.
The man folds, slams down his lousy hand of cards, goes to take a piss, grabs another beer and then heads back to the dim light of the silent table of brooding, sullen men, hoping this time he’ll win big. The woman finishes the dishes, wipes her hands, glances in his direction; and knows in her heart that he’s still a long ways away.
Maybe they have sex later that night. But it’s just a chance for him to relieve some of the tension from his frustrating losses, before he turns the other way and soon enough is snoring away loudly. They may have screwed and stoked up some momentary passion. But he never actually touched her in the slightest, not the truth of who she is.
This scenario is an oversimplification of male-female relations of course, and may seem like an exaggerated one, especially to those men who have experienced fairly healthy relationships with the women in their lives. But in reality, it’s probably somewhere around average. There are certainly countless examples of loving, cooperative, balanced relationships between men and women all around the world. And yet, there are also many, many abusive ones, as we all know from the news stories and statistics. But you don’t hear too often about the woman who beat up her husband, because it‘s almost always the other way around.
It’s hardly debatable that men have a much greater record of violence and mistreatment against women than vice versa, both in modern times and throughout human history. From the burning of witches to designating women as property, not allowing women to vote, keeping them veiled and hidden away in the home, not allowing them to divorce an abusive husband or even to drive a car in some countries today, to laws stating that forcible sex by a man of his wife isn’t rape, or that women can’t associate with men outside of their immediate family, punishable by death, human society is riddled with instances of male discrimination, domination and much worse against women. And yet it’s hard to think of a single account of an organized campaign of prejudice by women against men. If you search hard enough through the history books then perhaps you’ll find one buried away somewhere. But it will take some serious digging.
Now, in saying all this, the point isn’t to engage in male-bashing and induce a guilt trip in men. That isn’t at all what this book is about. The point is simply that what men need to understand and acknowledge and accept, before anything can truly change, is that women have every reason to distrust men. This is an essential realization when it comes to moving forward into a new and completely different mode of relating between the sexes. Women need to sense and feel that men have acknowledged and taken responsibility for their past mistakes, before they can trust them to move into that deeper level of relating, the one they’ve been yearning and waiting for.
And this is also important to realize because this distrust and wariness has kept women hiding much of themselves from men, so that they are a mere shadow of who and what they can truly be. Women have within them infinite reservoirs of radiant, creative, wise, passionate, ecstatic, orgasmic, loving energy, just waiting to be awakened, explored, honored and reveled in. And they desire a man’s sensitive, attuned touch and attention and love to bring that part of themselves fully alive (or another woman‘s, as the case may be). Because bringing this vibrant, pulsating, juicy energy to life requires interaction, uniting, a relationship with another.
And yet in a sense, ironically, sadly, this is precisely what keeps men away from the deeper core of women. Because on some subconscious level men sense that women are a Pandora’s box of swirling, unfamiliar energy that they aren’t quite sure they want to open up and let loose. Whatever is inside there, it seems highly volatile and unpredictable, to say the least. Better to keep a lid on it all, keep things under control and not take any chances. And besides, there’s a poker game to play.
If you would like to submit a piece for this project, I very much welcome it. I am requesting that people write from around 1,000-3,000 words, so that you can go fairly in-depth with your piece and give the reader some very transformative, helpful, inspiring information and stories. You can go in pretty much any direction you want to take it. Just write from the heart. And after finishing it, consider setting it down and then coming back to it a little later to rework it so that it's the best piece of writing you can muster. Feel free to write on any topics relating to relationships between men and women. Just keep in mind that the book will be designed with men as the audience, that it's about teaching and informing men how they can better relate with women.
Some ideas of what to write about are: communication, romance, what love really is, sex, orgasm, trust, intimacy, tantra, women's bodies, the essentials of a good relationship, what men tend to overlook about women, the role of emotions, what really turns women on (on all levels), spirituality as it relates to relationships, yin and yang, finding balance between masculine and feminine energies, etc. Feel free to work in some personal stories about your own experiences regarding relationships with the opposite sex. You can't really go off topic as long as it's about love and relationships. Feel free to push the comfort zone a little, since the point is to give men the chance to not just change their thinking, but propel them to change something deeper in their heart and soul; and to give them the necessary information that through their own personal relationship with a woman, they can allow the woman to teach them and help them evolve and change. Women have done plenty of conforming to men's views of who and what they should be. Now is the time time for men to listen to women and hear their heartfelt point of view.
After you've finished your piece, you can email it to me at:
As for compensation for writing your piece, everyone who simply submits a piece, regardless of whether I actually use it in the end, will get a free e-copy of the finished book. For everyone who is selected to be included in the book, they will both receive a free e-copy of this book, and they will also get free e-copies of my other four books, including my one published work, "Kundalini and the Art of Being", another book that I just signed a book contract for, "Following My Thumb: A Decade of Unabashed Wanderlust" about my travels, and two others. Also, they will be able to write a short bio about themselves and promote their business or website, which will be included in the back of the book. Beyond that, it will depend on which publisher I ultimately end up with. I haven't started searching for one yet because I want to have other people's pieces already finished and edited, since that is the bulk of the book. The publishing process takes some time, but long before that happens I will be offering the book online as an e-book and everyone involved in the project will receive their free e-copy at that time (probably sometime in March, 2011, shortly after I've put the book together).
Looking forward to hearing from you on this important and very fun, interesting and important topic. I have no doubt this will turn into a very engaging, informative and helpful read!
Take care, Gabriel Morris
(If you have any further questions, feel free to email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org)